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Unsolicited Political Advice

January 17, 2019
Theresa May has until Friday to come up with a Plan B.
She can have this one on me:
“Mr Speaker, it is plain that after all my hard work and sincere efforts to bring about the withdrawal of the UK from the EU in an orderly manner, there is no majority in this House for the actual measures that the EU will agree to. This is not because there is another plan that a majority will agree to! No, it’s because there are a half a dozen factions (some in front of me and some behind me) who think they could do a better job than me and one big faction (some in front, some behind) who don’t want to Leave at all!”
“What is worse, we now probably have insufficient time to pass necessary subsequent legislation to enact what the House decides (if can it decide anything) before the clock runs out and we leave the EU with whatever we have managed to cobble together at the last minute. This is intolerable to me and I don’t believe the nation will tolerate except for the enthusiastic minority (who in this house are mostly behind me) who want to abandon all thought of prudence in their enthusiasm for overthrowing all regulation that offends their terribly pure minds.”
“I could go back to the EU and ask for more reassurances but it would be as futile as my predecessor’s negotiations before the referendum, convincing nobody and annoying many. The Withdrawal Agreement we have now is the only one we are going to get. The Leader of the Opposition is deluding himself if he thinks otherwise.”
“All right then, since there is no agreement in this House we must needs look for agreement somewhere else. My predecessor threw this matter into the lap of the people and the people must bear responsibility for sorting this out!”
“I propose we ask the EU for six months delay in our Leave date and use it to hold a two part referendum both parts to be binding on Parliament. The first part should say roughly:
If we Leave the EU do you want the Withdrawal Agreement to be the basis of it? Yes or No.
The second should say something to the effect:
Do you want the UK to Leave the EU? Yes or No.
That way not only to the howling lunatics who want No Deal (yes, I’m talking to you Rees-Mogg!) get their chance but those who want to Remain but if we do Leave want some sort of order in the process get the chance to vote for that. Everyone gets a chance to make as clear a decision as possible. Mr Speaker a resolution to this effect will be placed before the House as soon as I sit down!”

From → Brexit, Rants

One Comment
  1. I hold no hope for it happening, but would dearly love to see her stand, approach the box and say, “Feck it, we’re staying.”

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