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A Dialogue Between the Author and His Cat

April 29, 2019

“You have returned, provider of my daily fare. Did you pursue your intention to see the long awaited conclusion of the tale so long extended?”

“I did, oh companion and guardian of my home. Let me provide you with your supper (delayed by my fault in going to seek repast for myself) and then you may climb upon my lap while I describe the event and my conclusions.”

“It is a minor matter. Please do not allow it to happen ever again.”

A short time later…

“So then, what were your findings with regard to this work so much heralded forth in the gossip of the commonalty and the purveyors of daily tittle-tattle? (Yes, a little more there along the spine…)”

“I found it pleasing enough. In truth I could have delayed my delighting in it longer as is my custom with most such presentations, until the numbers attending are fewer and the press of the commonalty less close upon the judicious and superior soul were it not for the ‘spoiler’ warnings on every piece of rumour and review. Had I waited much longer the whole plot would have been revealed and the viewing pointless.”

“You have been known to not view something until you had the opportunity to read the summation of the plot posted by those who had gone before.”

“True but in this case I wished to see how they resolved the challenge set up by all the previous films and how much they could work in. In that regard it was good but not excellent. You will be unsurprised that the ending, though heroic and satisfactory as an ending was written by those who cared little for the philosophic implications of what they contrived.”

“In brief?”

“As expected the plot involved Chrononautic Expeditions and left the history of the fancied universe dangling in shreds and tatters of paradox.”

“Alas. But heroic deeds were done?”

“They were and heartstrings were plucked to good effect. I had no complaints in that regard.”

“Where did you have complaints?”

“In the darkness of the cinematography. I have mentioned to you before that fight scenes especially and most particularly those in fantastic narratives are murky and unclear to me. I do not think my advanced age is entirely to blame but rather the fancies of the directors.”

“You were away a good long time. Did the length of the piece cause you distress?”

“Some, it is true and the fact I was pent in and cut off from the exit by people entranced by the spectacle made leaving my seat impolite and impractical. But I discovered new reserves of resolve and physical capacity and despite being in my seat for three and a half hours did not disgrace myself, though my teeth were grinding by the end.”

“A heroic narrative of your own!”

“Indeed. The exercises I have been performing for the benefit of my left hip must have increased the strength of my pelvic muscles notably.”

“A cause for rejoicing. Though we could both be happier if it were leading to a great reduction in your paunch.”

“One must be philosophical in these things.”

“Finally, if a humble one may ask…”

“Is there such a being in the vicinity?”

“Why are we discoursing in such refined and polite tones this evening?”

“Because my old friend David Langford has, in a book of his reviews I obtained at the Eastercon, made mention of a collection of Kai Lung stories I had not previously known of. I purchased it in electronic format and it is all over my prose style just now.”

“By mentioning this tome…”


“…you pass the kindness on to the world. The balance of your karma improves. You may even be reborn as a cat someday.”

“A felicity of which I am unworthy.”

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